I recently wrote about my plans of studying theology at university after being laid off from my job. Some things has led to a change of plans.
The first is that I apparently wasn’t being laid off at all. A miscommunication between my bosses and supervisor led to me being told I was going to be let go when I wasn’t. My bosses were actually pissed over what had happened because I’m doing a good job and they’re very understaffed at the moment.
Since both their chefs recently quit, I’m working more in the kitchen and I have the opportunity to learn to become a chef. As I love food and cooking, I think it’s a career that would fit me.
After heartfelt conversation with the main boss, the person who actually owns the restaurant, I was also told that I was free to be myself at work and that no homophobia would be accepted. This took a big weight of my shoulders and I feel much better working there now.
The second thing is that I’m not exactly sure what I want to do in terms of working with religion and whether theological studies would be necessary. And since almost all theology program are designed to help primarily future Christian priests, I don’t know that I’d even learn much that would be useful. Before embarking on years of university studies, I want to know for sure that it’s something I need for my personal path.
The third and also most important thing is that I’m increasingly feeling religious institutions often work as a hindrance to spiritual growth rather than a help. For this reason, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable working for one or telling anybody ‘this is what we should believe/the values we should have/ how we should do ritual’ etc – even if it’s things I happen to agree with.
More and more, I feel there is a need to decentralise spirituality, to stop seeing it as a top-down thing and instead as something everyone has an inherent access to. Moving towards a form of spiritual anarchy, if you will.
Right now, I feel I need to take some time and focus on my writing and my relationships with the Deities and with the one who is my muse and hamingja. I have a bit of thinking to do, which I will have a lot of hours for in the coming weeks. I don’t want to say ‘luckily’ because I’ll be home recovering from having my gallbladder removed. But I will take the opportunity to ponder about what the right path for me is.